Saturday, April 10, 2010

Saturday Night Live-Blogging Considered

Sometimes I think that I should live-blog something. Live-blogging is the process of watching an event, usually on television, and posting commentary on a blog in real time as the event unfolds. Live-blogging is often used by political bloggers for things like Presidential debates.

One candidate for live-blogging would be Saturday Night Live, a new episode of which airs in a few minutes. Of course, live-blogging Saturday Night Live in its current state would probably consist of writing That wasn't very good over and over. Also, I like to eat during the show, and then sometimes play my keyboard when I am done eating, and too much multi-tasking can ruin a man.

Tonight the show is hosted by Tina Fey, with musical guest Justin Bieber. (I cannot resist linking to the Justin Bieber official site, but please understand that I am only linking ironically.) If I were writing for the show, I would suggest a cold open in which a middle-aged man visits his doctor, complaining of high temperature, sore throat, heart palpitations, etc. The doctor would diagnosis the patient with severe Bieber Fever, and ask the patient if he had been listening to the music of and watching the videos of Justin Bieber. The patient would say that he hadn't, but that he had been bitten by a tick.

"That'll do it too," the doctor would say. Then he would get out a medical book to look up how to treat his patient. At that moment, the other cast members would burst into the room, wearing surgical scrubs, and busting out their best hip-hop dance moves, all the while jubilantly singing, "There is no reliever for the Bieber fever!!"

As the musical number builds to a fevered pitch, one of the cast members, probably Andy Samberg, would point at these same words written in giant letters on a poster, using a telescoping metal pointer. Then the music and dancing would end, and the patient would collapse lifeless on the examination table.

"He is dead," the doctor would say, "and live from New York, it's Saturday Night!"

Realistically, I predict , of course, a Tina Fey Sarah Palin sketch . . . and maybe something along the lines of Leave It To Bieber.

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